Celia had to teach a seminar next week on coping with challenges. She was very nervous and didn’t know how to manage: She was a walking example of having to teach what you most have to learn. In a similar situation last year, she was severely attacked by one participant. In the initial discussion she concluded: “I’m my own greatest critic.” I asked her “From whom did this ‘I’ learn to criticise you?, and she said: “My father.”
Celia then told the story how her father always told her to do things right. One day when she was eleven years old, she had to do some chores in the church for her father, who was a verger. She finished her work fast and told father she was ready. She knew her work wasn’t perfect, but she wanted to play in the freshly fallen snow with her younger sister. Then an accident happened with the sleigh and her sister broke a leg, with serious consequences. Celia was made responsible. She had felt extremely guilty for the rest of her life, even though her younger sister had said recently that she was glad that the accident had never stood between them.
Two cycles of the Logosynthesis sentences followed here, one for ‘the wish that this hadn’t happened.’ This already eased the guilt. Then she said the sentences for a memory of being left home alone, while the parents went to the hospital with her sister. This second cycle led to an enormous relief. Celia said: “I was eleven years old. I couldn’t know what could happen in the fresh snow.” I added a third cycle with the image of father, which hadn’t been addressed yet, and Celia was ready for the fourth sentence. In the future-pacing she could look at next week’s seminar with relaxed confidence: She’s an experienced professional.
Guilt is always based on beliefs that you could have known or done something to prevent pain or damage. You couldn’t. Especially children are easily susceptible to guilt, because they don’t grasp the complexity of cause and effect in life on earth. They tend to overestimate their own influence on human destiny. Guilt also activates experiences of deep abandonment: Guilt excludes you from being together and can intensify trauma.
Addressing these limiting beliefs with Logosynthesis is one of the most effective types of interventions in the field. Forgiveness then becomes possible. Forgiveness is not an act. It’s the automatic result of the realisation that an alternative was not available ar the time.